The Book Report: ‘Candide’

Ronnie Chiu-Lin / THE GATEPOST

By Kate Norrish Staff Writer After you learn about how Voltaire spent his life, which included gaining his fortune by exploiting a flaw in the lottery, having a dysfunctional friendship (rainbow quotation marks may apply) with the king of Prussia, and spending his last moments on this big green globe annoying the priest performing his last rites, you expect his books to have a certain vibe. It does not disappoint. When you are a character in “Candide” - published in 1759 - the worst thing you could say is “at least things can’t get any worse.” Name a bad thing that can happen to someone, and the chances are not bad that something similar happens in this book. Our main character, Candide, is your average teenager. He’s a flirt, enjoys annoying his teacher who won’t shut up about how great God is, and, being the son of a baron, money is not a problem. Then Murphy’s Law happens. Candide is kicked out of his home, forced into the military, and killed. Luckily, in Voltaire land, death is recoverable. When he becomes a deserter, it turns out his teacher has also gone through the wringer, having spent a period of time homeless. This all happens within the first 20 pages of the book, and things will only get worse. What follows is a journey all over the world, where they meet a wide variety of people, each with their own horrible backstory. Body parts have been removed from some of them - and occasionally eaten. People get all kinds of diseases. Money is very much a problem, women have bigger issues than dating Candide, and this teacher still won’t shut up about how great God is. What makes this book a classic is how much these characters hate being bored. Sometimes, they will even comment that the boredom is worse than the pain, gore, and guts of whatever the world has against them. This leads to an ending that has an extreme tone shift from the rest of the book. However, it somehow works and is probably Voltaire’s most famous piece of writing. Without spoilers, of course, it is simply lovely. Candide and friends’ boredom makes the mundane moments all the more fun, with them getting violently annoyed with any slight inconvenience in every moment of peace. But inevitably, the chaotic atmosphere this book is engulfed in will butt in, with someone explaining to them how their wife died from a home remedy for a mild cold or something. In fact, even the calmest moments are portrayed as torturous. Granted, even the most horrific scenes of the book are described using casual language, but the smaller problems of the book are portrayed as just as bombastically. To put it bluntly, this humor is dry. You may be thinking Monty Python or Douglas Adams dry. Think drier. The humor in this book is like beef jerky that’s been sitting in the Sahara Desert for decades. There are good chunks of this book where I feel bad for, or even wonder if I am supposed to be laughing. But it is a comedy book, so what can I say? In true Voltaire fashion, this book was written because a fellow philosopher thought we lived in the best possible world because God is good. Therefore, if God could create a better world, He would. Voltaire thought that was a dumb idea, and instead of just saying so, he wrote this monstrosity. However, it should be noted that when the characters visit such places as Morocco and South America, we are reminded that Voltaire’s views on race were a little odd. While the book is clearly anti-discrimination, and the non-white characters are never shown as being lesser than the main cast, the way they are portrayed seems as though it can be interpreted as harmfully stereotypical. Voltaire’s relationship with Jewish and non-white communities is part of a larger, ongoing debate. From my research, he seems to have taken substantial efforts to correct himself when he realized it was necessary, and I am also white. I encourage you to do your own research. With my copy of the book being less than 150 pages, “Candide” makes for a funny and approachable introduction to 1700s literature, at least if you can stomach some blood and guts.