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Grief is forever

By Dylan Pichnarcik

Editorial Staff


At some point in life, everybody loses someone. In almost all instances it feels like the end of the world, but eventually you pull through, and you begin to live with the fact that the person is no longer in your life.


Trust me, it hurts a lot.


It can make you do crazy things that you’ll have to face the consequences of later. But it also teaches you about the most important thing in life - love - because to lose someone is proof that you loved them.


In some instances someone can pass away, which hurts like nothing you have ever felt. The acknowledgement that you will never see someone again in a physical form is a hard concept to grasp.


It's something that no two people will experience in the same way. Nor is there a prescribed method of healing.


For me, death was the first experience I had with loss. In late 2021, over the course of four months, I lost my grandfather, and two great uncles. Did this experience prepare me for literally any other experience with grief for the rest of my life?


Absolutely.


Although it taught me how to cope with loss, it also destroyed me.


I went from being smothered by Sunday gatherings and backyard barbecues to sitting at a small table, with those who I have left, or “the survivors.”


When a small family gets smaller it changes everything, but that does not mean you, or the people around you are different. Rather you are changed, united in your love and grief.


After you experience loss, you can never truly come back from it. Anyone who tells you to “get over it” or “move on” does not fully understand what it means to lose someone, because you do not need to move on. Rather, you need to learn how to live with new emotions and reflect on your experiences in a positive way.


Yes, death will destroy you, but the loss of someone who is still alive will break you down as well and it’s just as grounded as any other type of loss.


In these instances you may feel unbalanced or incomplete - these feelings are completely normal. To lose someone you held in high esteem or even had love for is not easy, it changes your entire outlook on life, and can even change how you view yourself.


Everyone processes grief differently.


However, it is important to never forget yourself - you are the only guaranteed constant in your life.


Lean into the difficult parts of life. They will teach you so much and though it may hurt in the moment, it will eventually support your growth as an individual.


The best advice that someone can give you about grief is that time will heal. Each day will be filled with a different set of complex emotions that you will have to deal with on your own.


But to feel is to be human, so feel everything you need to in order to get yourself back in balance.


Life will continue on, you will lose again, but you will also grow, and become the person you need to be.


Keep moving forward, you will thrive.


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