I don’t want a drink, and I don’t like your weird friend

By Alexis Schlesinger Opinion Editor I don’t accept all people exactly as they are. This may sound contrary to my previous statement, but I do love all people, and I believe all people are worthy of love. I do not love every individual, though. Unconditional love for the individual just because they are human will not help people grow. I want you to grow because you are a human and I love you for it. I may not accept you as you currently are, though, if you need to grow and become a better individual. We are living in a world where instant gratification is an addiction. Whatever is easiest and quickest in the moment is typically the most attractive option. You will drink whatever will get you drunk the fastest, even if it tastes disgusting and leaves you sick the next day. I’ve noticed which bottles fill your kitchen cabinets. We all know your friend who thinks you’re cool and sometimes does favors for you isn’t going down your throat easily with his lack of respect for other people. But it’s so much easier to just take the shots. They’re right in front of you, and they’ve already been poured. Why let a good time go to waste? Once you’re drunk, it’s over, and you don’t have to care how you got there. You can just enjoy yourself without thinking. You should care, though. Don’t you care what the people in your life are made of? I love all people, and I believe all people are deserving of love, because they are people. But just because you deserve something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have to work to earn it. It is not the responsibility of good people to make bad people better. It is not the responsibility of people who make good choices to teach people who make bad choices. It is, however, our collective responsibility as human beings to allow people the space to become better. I mean, you can’t make a mixed drink if you don’t even have another vessel to pour into, let alone a mixer. If you want to be drunk and all you have is a bottle of vodka and a few shallow shot glasses, you’re either going to have to take the shots, or not get drunk at all. I do not accept all people exactly as they are, but I do accept that all people are capable of change. Some people need more time or help than others. Some people don’t even know they still have growth to do, or something better they could become. Some people have given up on becoming more than what they already are because other people tell them they will always be the same. If your cup isn’t big enough to hold other people, or if you don’t have enough to pour into them to help them become something sweeter, you don’t have to take that on. But other people might have the space for them, and might be changing those people more than you realize. You may walk away from a person and not see them for weeks, months, or years. That’s a perfectly valid choice to make. You might someday choose to come back, or happen upon them, and at first glance, they’re exactly the same. You’ll never know what’s inside them now if you don’t try to find out for yourself. You can’t tell if a Shirley Temple is dirty just by looking at it. But if someone tells you your Shirley is dirty, you should probably figure out how heavy the bartender's pour was before you drink it. Not only should you find out, you should care. Treating your connections with other people like drinking to get drunk will poison you. Believe what you want to believe. Take your drinks as strong and bitter as you can stand them if fast and easy is what’s most important to you. But I don’t like things that don’t taste good, and to me, being drunk isn’t worth the poor taste. I care about who I have in my life and what they’re made of, and I don’t like people who don’t know how to treat others with respect. So forgive me if I refuse to take a shot with you. Maybe someday, we could go out for milkshakes instead.