By Mark Wadland
Of all the “special” days celebrated in America – most notably Thanksgiving, Christmas and the 4th of July – Valentine’s Day is the biggest headache for me by leaps and bounds.
I’d just like to get this out – Valentine’s Day SUCKS, and this is why: First of all, it’s not like only one gender is screwed over on this day of “romance.” Both guys and girls face challenges on February 14.
It may not be fun for girls, especially those who are single, because they may feel lonely and sad that they can’t take part in the “fun” and “romance.” Personally, I think they’re lucky, but that’s just me.
Single guys should be happy because they can save themselves a headache by not having to take a girl out. For example, they avoid all of the stupid romantic sayings no one really wants to listen to – such gems as, “You’re so romantic.”
You know what I call that? A lie. If a girl ever says something like that to me, I immediately know she’s lying, because nobody who knows me would ever view me as a romantic guy. On top of that, it hurts my feelings that a gal would be dishonest with me. I mean, if a girl actually believes I’m romantic, I’m either Houdini or she has a screw or two loose in the old noggin.
I haven’t left out all of those folks in relationships, too. They’re the ones who should really feel the sting on Valentine’s Day.
Some girls spend hours getting ready to go out, and all for just one night that may or may not go well. I cannot stand dressing formally, because I simply find it to be tedious, but I always remind myself that at least it doesn’t take hours. I admire the dedication women have when getting ready for dates – it is an incredible display of patience.
Some guys probably enjoy going out on Valentine’s Day, but I’m not one of them. I don’t see the point. It’s such a hassle – getting ready and actually having to care about my physical appearance – it’s a waste of time in my book.
I do not understand the appeal of Valentine’s Day. So many folks stress out over it, all so either two single folks can try to get to know one another, or two folks in a relationship can hang out somewhere for a few hours while wearing formal clothes.
Valentine’s Day is not special, exciting, fun or extraordinary. It is, at best, average – nothing more and nothing less. When you look past all of the flowers, dinners, dresses, suits, kisses and failed hopes of intercourse, there is only one way to accurately sum up Valentine’s Day: another day closer to death.
Yet every day above ground is a good day, so I suppose even Valentine’s Day has a silver lining.