What you know will always be changing

Courtesy of Alexis Schlesinger

By Alexis Schlesinger Editorial Staff From the time I was in kindergarten, I knew I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. As I started getting older, more and more kids were younger than me. Eventually, I started working at summer camps. I loved working with kids. What started as a love of learning, evolved into wanting to teach. Well, that’s what I assumed was happening. I was good at working with kids, and I loved it. That meant I should stick with it. Many of my peers had their dream schools and dream jobs figured out by the time they were 12 years old. I knew what I loved, so I had it all figured out too. When I first started courses at Framingham State, I was an Early Childhood Education major, with plans to run cross country in the fall, and track and field in the spring. When I tell people that now, they look at me like I have two heads. It didn’t take long for me to realize what I had wanted when I was young wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I was, for lack of a better word, miserable in my education classes. Seemingly, I was the only one in the room that felt that way, so I assumed it was something wrong with me. How could I be so unhappy pursuing what I had always wanted? After barely making it through my first semester, I decided to stick with it until at least the end of my freshman year. Maybe I just had a rough transition. It really didn’t make much of a difference. I actually got more miserable - raise your hand if you’re surprised! Outside of classes my freshman year, I had found extra time to pursue my creative hobbies, especially photography. I was slacking off in my classes to spend more time on that, truthfully. I joined the Photo & Design section of the newspaper, and became a member of the radio station. The arts became everything to me. It was an escape. Eventually, I realized I didn’t want it to be an escape anymore. I wanted it to be my reality. So I finally ripped the bandage off, and switched my major to Communication Arts. Switching my major was a relatively simple process. My academic advisor was incredibly helpful in connecting me with the Communication Arts department, and all I really had to do to switch my major was fill out a quick online form. The switch being simple didn’t necessarily make it easy. I was grateful, of course, that it was so easy to change my major on paper. Emotionally, I felt conflicted. I felt like I was breaking a promise to my younger self, to my professors from the past year, and to the students I “would have taught.” As corny as it may sound, there were two things that pushed me through those negative thoughts. One, it was always possible to go back. Two, it didn’t matter if changing my mind multiple times caused me to take longer to graduate - everyone’s timeline is different. Now, I know I wouldn’t change my career path for anything else in the world, but at the time, knowing I could always change my mind again was comforting. Another thing I quickly learned after starting my communication arts courses the following semester was that I wasn’t breaking any promises like I thought I was. I’d be doing myself, and those around me in my career, a greater disservice by staying somewhere that didn’t fit me. I wouldn’t be happy, so I wouldn’t be able to work to my full potential. It’s also important to note, that even after all this, it didn’t mean my younger self was wrong about what she wanted. Up until my freshman year, I did know I wanted to be a teacher. However, it was because I didn’t know there was another option for me. Now, I know I want to be a concert photographer and a tour manager, and I’m lucky enough to be both of those things. Someday, what I want might change again. For now, I know what I know now, and that’s enough.